What A Difference A Year Can Make | Goodbye 2017

Sunday, 31 December 2017



It's definitely true what they say; so much can change in just 12 months. When I sit here and think back to my circumstances and who I was at the end of 2016 compared to the end of 2017, I can't quite believe the difference. It's mad. This year has been eye opening to say the least, but overall it's been amazing.

2016 was a really hard year that tested me in so many different aspects of my life; education, relationships and self confidence. After having a really rough struggle with anxiety and depression I didn't go into 2017 with much optimism. Years of the difficulties I'd had with them really came to a head. And if I'm being honest 2017 started off pretty miserable. It was a crucial time and a period in which I recognised serious change in myself. I felt and thought differently to usual. And even though at times this was confusing, it wasn't all bad change. I was learning so much and adjusting to life outside of a school and was gaining experience that was moulding me. I'm sure it all sounds extremely deep and meaningful but that's the way it was. I felt like I'd grown up more and outgrown a lot of what used to interest me and was finding new things that filled those gaps. I remember explaining it to my Mum like it felt as though I was a tarantula shedding its old skin. Yeah, I know it's a gross analogy. That's the only way to explain it though. Obviously I didn't have a complete personality transplant and morphed into a new person but I felt like I'd got rid of any old "baggage" shall we say and almost upgraded. New job, new friends, new interests. Feeling brave enough to start a blog, learning to drive, starting (and leaving) college. And I've loved what the year has brought to me.

When I look back at the dark cloud that was 2016 I feel a certain amount of pride that I've come this far. Like I'm watching the bad part of the film when the main character goes through a shitty situation hopelessly awaiting the resolution. I feel like I'm at the resolution stage. I'm happier and more confident. What do I put that down to? I'm not quite sure to be honest. Maybe surrounding myself with better people who are supportive and understanding. Possibly pushing myself out of my comfort zone by trying new experiences. It could just be the prozac who knows, but I'm not complaining. I'm not saying there aren't any low bad days or any more panic attacks or horrible anxiety filled moments but I can handle them. I've learnt how to manage them in the best way for me. Of course nothing's perfect but as long as you're content. 

Thinking about things 12 months ago, maybe even 6 actually, I can't believe the difference in myself. I'm having so many less panic attacks and I'm enjoying working in a busy environment (yes, I just said busy and didn't shudder at the thought). I'm catching a bus by myself, and going out with friends and family without thinking twice or worrying. To someone who hasn't experienced anxiety or depression they must sound like the smallest things. However, a year ago they would've been impossible. I've caught trains, managed to sit in coffee shops, met new people, gone to shopping centres. Conquered the hairdressers, pubs, restaurants, travelling, parties. I don't know how I crammed so much into a year. All year long I was determined to make things better for myself and I've got so much more confidence because of it.

There's so much to look forward to in the next year and I'm going to embrace it with open arms. I turn 18 which is a huge milestone that I plan to celebrate properly. ARCTIC MONKEYS ARE RETURNING. I'm hoping to pass my driving test in March too which is something I've been dreaming about for so long. I'm in the thick of my A-Levels which of course will be difficult, but something I was working towards for a whole year. Something I desperately wanted to achieve but felt I couldn't. I feel things falling into place slowly and I'm so excited for another clean slate. Just wanted to say a big thank you for everyone who's read or commented on this blog too. It was a spontaneous idea that I didn't think would really go anywhere but has done me the world of good. Believe it or not, it's given me something to feel very proud and confident about so every pageview, like and comment is hugely appreciated.

Happy New Year xx

Liv x

14 comments

  1. Glad to hear this years changed for the better, love your blog!

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  2. You've come so far, the sky is the limit! Happy new year sweet x
    Amber | www.amberatlanta.blogspot.co.uk

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  3. Oh my god, yes! I completely agree! I also feel like I've grown so much this year. If I even read something I wrote four months ago It's so surprising.

    www.flolavita.co.uk

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    1. I love reading old posts I've written, shows how much I've changed!!xx

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  4. Reading how far you've come literally feels me with so much happiness and pride! Go you girl. You've done amazing. This post is almost like reading my own 2017 in review in a way because 2016 was such a horrible year for me, but 2017 I really changed things around and had so many amazing uplifting moments that included beating anxiety. Wishing you all the best xx

    Lauren - itslaurenvictoria.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Lauren, you're the best!! We've both come so far, I'm wishing you the absolute best for 2018!! I know you'll smash it xxx

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  5. It is so lovely to see the improvements you made in the past year, looking back over a long period of time definitely give you huge perspective on how much everything has changed. I've had an extremely challenging year and I'm that 2018 is the year that all the positive changes are made and I finally start to feel like myself again. I am swooning over your diary!

    Abi | abistreetx

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    1. Sorry to hear that 2017 was challenging for you, I hope this year brings you better things! Thank you lovely xxx

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  6. Good Luck for 2018, fingers crossed for you with your driving test, makes such a huge difference to things you're able to do by yourself!
    And also fingers crossed the Arctic Monkeys comeback is everything we could hope for!
    Helpless Whilst Drying

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    1. Hope 2018 is good for you too! Yes, I need alex turner back in my life xx

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  7. Happy New Year! It is so nice to know that 2017 taught you a lot. I hope 2018 will be good for the both of us!

    Xeph Hipolito | multiverse

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